Talking Point: Where is the payoff? LOST 6x06 "Sundown"

This week's episode of LOST-6x06 "Sundown", left me feeling unsatisfied. So far, every episode this season has been like watching a football game. In the NFL there are four quarters and each last fifteen minutes. In reality the game takes around three hours. During all that time, all actual game play lasts only twelve minutes on average. In comparison, I equate an episode of LOST to be about seven minutes of shit actually happening and the other 35 minutes to getting jerked off to no end.

Here is how I experienced LOST 6x06 "Sundown",

--Sayid flash-sideways:I love Nadia (yeah we know)
--Sayid banished
--commercial break

--flash-sideways: I love Nadia
--Sayid not banished
--commercial break

--flash-sideways: I love Nadia
--Sayid leaves temple: No cool, revealing answers. We found out why Dogen sent Sayid out, which was a question posed this episode. An example of the "answers" being revealed in season six.
--commercial break

--Sayid flash-sideways:I love Nadia and I kill people
--Sayid comes back to temple
--commercial break

--Shit actually happens except its all crammed into a frantic, sloppily edited seven minutes.
--dumb slow-motion

In a nutshell, it was Sideways Sayid doing what Sayid always does (killing people and loving Nadia) followed alongside Sayid walking around back and forth from the temple, and concluded with the smoke monster attacking the camp. LAME.

Anyway, the point is, I say its time for some pay-off. I mean REAL pay-off, things that are clearly fundamental to the bigger picture. I don't mean answers that leave us with new questions, I don't mean answers to shit that was introduced an episode prior, I am talking about answers to what is at the heart of the story.

GoL Review: LOST 6x05 - The Lighthouse

Every week I will be posting a link to the episode review featured over at my brother's (see illustration) blog, Gentlemen of Leisure. The reviews are relatively short and to the point, highlighting some of the things you may have missed the first time through the episode, as well as a recap of the relevant questions that were answered/unanswered during the episode.

This week is episode 6x05 The Lighthouse. Enjoy!

Gentlemen of Leisure: LOST 6x05 - The Lighthouse

Where in the World is Richard Alpert?

Following the revelation of Jacob's apparent demise at the beginning of LOST's sixth season, everyone's favorite Other/mascara enthusiast, Richard Alpert, was forced (THROAT PUNCH!!!) to kneel before the might of Fake Locke. Like an eternally youthful, eye-lined caterpillar, the calm, collected negotiator of season five tumbled from FLocke's hammock-cocoon and regressed into a throat-punched mess, franticly scurrying about the jungle like some bastardized butterfly.

During his manic jungle sprint, Richard managed to bump into Sawyer for a moment before fleeing in fear of another throat punching. Who knows where Richard ran off to next (probably the temple, but that's no fun) or who he met along the way. This is where you, the LOST fans, come in. Bust out your Photoshop, your MS paint, hell even your safety scissors and glue. Put your shooping skills to the test and help illuminate crazy Richard's quest to get as far away from FLocke and his seemingly endless supply of throat-punchings.

Remember, this is LOST we're talking about! Who knows what kind of insane, time-traveling, dimension-hopping shenanigans ol' raccoon eyes has gotten himself into. No time or place is off limits. When you are finished with your doctored masterpiece, post it in the comments of the weekly "Where in the World is Richard Alpert?" entry. If you are a noob and have no idea how to post images, feel free to email them to richard.throatpunched@gmail.com and I will post them for you. Every week I'll pick the best shoops and who knows, there might be some prizes involved!!! (probably not)

I've provided links to screencaps below the cut, so you don't need to go scouring teh internets to find a good pic of crazy Richard. I got the ball rolling below with crazy Richard's special appearance in Action Comics #1. Have fun and good shooping!